This is about the loss of a friend
-wait, I promise this isn’t going to be some rambling emotional diatribe about “real friends” vs fake friends, people that don’t value your time, friends who wish you harm -no whining/crying/complaining. I can’t bear to see myself turn that cliche.
Rather, it’s about the ending & beginning of friendships -the elders (the wise group of old people -yes, they are old- that I ask for advice, they take a swig of the whiskey/wine/daiquiri & blow my mind away with wisdom).
Apparently, by their age, I should consider myself blessed if I have 1 or 2 really good friends. This is the stage where friends fade, new friendships are made, & robust friendships deepen and intensify. The ones that leave aren’t necessarily fake or it’s not that they dont care -but lets be honest here: this is a huge transitional stage in our lives, people are trying to get established, buy houses, climb the corporate ladder -it’s exhausting keeping up with people. Nevertheless -I’ve been making sure to let good friends know I think of them -a text here, email, phone call while I’m doing 800 different things -it’s an effort and hopefully they return the sentiment.
Some will, most won’t but let’s not be bitter here:
The Fader -dude is busy with life, looking for a spouse, trying to grow his savings -when times get hard, he turns inwards/internally to deal with problems. No matter how close you guys were, try not to develop ill-feelings -he /she might eventually come around or become an acquaintance.
New Friends Not going to lie -this is probably the most awkward part. Are they fair weather friends, do they just want you for your network, money, lifestyle?? Being open & feeling them out is usually the best thing -I usually try to give them a chance and give substantial effort in returning their efforts and initiating some of my own.
Deepening Friendships umm wow -you were kewl friends but now you get each other to the point that sometimes you feel related?!? 90% of the convo is filled with witty seemingly sardonic speech that is embedded with deep feelings for one another. This is interrupted with open, unshielded revelations to one another about where you are in your life and what you need to go further. Major source of encouragement & nourishment. I’m not one for emotion but damn, don’t know what I would be without this kind of creature in my life -it’s the kind of beauty in life you hold on to, protect, & nourish. Definitely should make sure they know how you feel about them -since I’m emotionally slow, this may come out in the form of a slug on the arm, weird nicknames, or pushing you into random things -seriously, I do this.lol
Periphery -network: I try not to burn bridges, that being said, I have way too many bridges & it sounds horrible to say but perhaps it’s not smart to keep up bridges going nowhere. Those without inspiration, who don’t suffer from some sort of narcissism that allows them to think that they’re here for a reason, a purpose, to change or create something perhaps -this sharpens you, makes you better. Just having some of these people around wakes me from my slumber.
Lastly Haters sometimes I need to hear “no, you can’t, it’s not possible, you’ll never make it“. These guys inspire me all the more to set the bar higher, to exceed it, to lift the burden of a portion of society, to fix problems systematically embedded – these guys are almost as inspirational as the previous group.lol
I’ve rambled long enough -apologies for the last cliche
(modesty is my best quality.lol)