Kipling -If

IF…..

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream – and not make dreams your master;
If you can think – and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
‘ Or walk with Kings – nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And – which is more – you’ll be a Man, my son!

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Passing of a paisan

This is about the loss of a friend
-wait, I promise this isn’t going to be some rambling emotional diatribe about “real friends” vs fake friends, people that don’t value your time, friends who wish you harm -no whining/crying/complaining. I can’t bear to see myself turn that cliche.

Rather, it’s about the ending & beginning of friendships -the elders (the wise group of old people -yes, they are old- that I ask for advice, they take a swig of the whiskey/wine/daiquiri & blow my mind away with wisdom).
Apparently, by their age, I should consider myself blessed if I have 1 or 2 really good friends. This is the stage where friends fade, new friendships are made, & robust friendships deepen and intensify. The ones that leave aren’t necessarily fake or it’s not that they dont care -but lets be honest here: this is a huge transitional stage in our lives, people are trying to get established, buy houses, climb the corporate ladder -it’s exhausting keeping up with people. Nevertheless -I’ve been making sure to let good friends know I think of them -a text here, email, phone call while I’m doing 800 different things -it’s an effort and hopefully they return the sentiment.

Some will, most won’t but let’s not be bitter here:
The Fader -dude is busy with life, looking for a spouse, trying to grow his savings -when times get hard, he turns inwards/internally to deal with problems. No matter how close you guys were, try not to develop ill-feelings -he /she might eventually come around or become an acquaintance.

New Friends Not going to lie -this is probably the most awkward part. Are they fair weather friends, do they just want you for your network, money, lifestyle?? Being open & feeling them out is usually the best thing -I usually try to give them a chance and give substantial effort in returning their efforts and initiating some of my own.

Deepening Friendships umm wow -you were kewl friends but now you get each other to the point that sometimes you feel related?!? 90% of the convo is filled with witty seemingly sardonic speech that is embedded with deep feelings for one another. This is interrupted with open, unshielded revelations to one another about where you are in your life and what you need to go further. Major source of encouragement & nourishment. I’m not one for emotion but damn, don’t know what I would be without this kind of creature in my life -it’s the kind of beauty in life you hold on to, protect, & nourish. Definitely should make sure they know how you feel about them -since I’m emotionally slow, this may come out in the form of a slug on the arm, weird nicknames, or pushing you into random things -seriously, I do this.lol

Periphery -network: I try not to burn bridges, that being said, I have way too many bridges & it sounds horrible to say but perhaps it’s not smart to keep up bridges going nowhere. Those without inspiration, who don’t suffer from some sort of narcissism that allows them to think that they’re here for a reason, a purpose, to change or create something perhaps -this sharpens you, makes you better. Just having some of these people around wakes me from my slumber.

Lastly Haters sometimes I need to hear “no, you can’t, it’s not possible, you’ll never make it“. These guys inspire me all the more to set the bar higher, to exceed it, to lift the burden of a portion of society, to fix problems systematically embedded – these guys are almost as inspirational as the previous group.lol
I’ve rambled long enough -apologies for the last cliche

Mister Glorious
(modesty is my best quality.lol)

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Been a long time

Inspiration -find myself abnormally fortunate, blessed -as if the heavens just open up on me at random moments like “here, thought you might like this”. But I’ve been delinquent in updating. Next post coming soon. Perhaps even a mention of a ms.glorious -we’ll see.
Mister Glorious

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Freeeeeedom!!!!

About to graduate with two masters in a few weeks. The idea is absolutely nuts to me & I want to celebrate hardcore -take out some of the glorious peoples in my life & show them a good time. I mean midgets, albinos, bottles, models & rooftops -just to have an amazing time and win the night. Let’s go big -let’s go glorious

Update: we also need to hire people to release a flock of doves every time we enter the room that night

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Part of me

“Regardless of the day, at night -the deficit between the man I am & the man I was created to be weighs on my soul. I both loathe & require it.”

I’m looking forward to the day I trump these internal benchmarks I’ve set for myself -when I can get back to changing lives for the better, uplifting the feeble heart, spurring courage in the fearful, helping to uplift a generation (emotionally, spiritually, & even financially).

I talk to the elder folk & get a gist of their dreams, ideas powered by ideals that they’ve long ago let die -but I can’t since it’s literally a part of me. Perhaps the best part of me.

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Unbelievable

If you heard my story & you caught glimpse of where/what I’ve come from -you just wouldn’t believe & I couldn’t blame you #watchwhatIdonext

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Too much of me

It’s in these late hours of the night that I think to myself -reflecting deeply on some things -the things which I have understood to attach value to:
-I Wonder if she lays awake at night and contemplates the man that will one day compliment her existence. The bachelor life is cinema -a fun movie to watch but the plot is lacking something, someone.
-Nice guys finish last, hence the hard chocolate shell I’m wrapped in. Far too many layers -far too many defenses to keep people at bay. A jest of narcissism, a shot of self deprecation, a veil of intellectualism, & intermittent dashes of regression – quite much to wade through to find me; I don’t blame those who threw in the towel.
-Paisans, friends, fair weather associates: each has their place, bringing me into different levels of peace
-Family: “Random” assignment -but the love is genuine. Aside from God, I’ve experienced no other expression of love -it exists, I’m sure, but all the studying in academia & philosophy won’t bring me to grasp it. Can’t even bring myself to utter the word to a gf -it’s too heavy of a word for my tongue to throw around.
-Me: I swear I have a drive/ambition that will bring me to the grave sooner than necessary but i can’t shake it. Adventure, living it up in penthouses, rooftops, a strong drink, a swift tongue, looking into someone’s eyes & taking in who they really are -it’s intoxicating. My duplicity/duality/civil war: calm but storms underneath, gentleman but a fighter, aloof but impassioned. Gifted with a word that can uplift the weary heart & actions to coincide : Barnabas (Greek)

**wrote far too much -put too much of myself out there. Enough to regret it when I wake in 2 hours. These words, these thoughts keep me company in the midnight hours & hopefully let you know a bit more about me than my lips would voluntarily forfeit.

< glorious

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